Doug Donnan
Executive Editor/OMNI-GENRE+MAGAZINE!
donnan.doug @yahoo.com
"GOOGLEGLUE"
by
DOUG DONNAN
"Actually the base is an ancient Aztec recipe made from the tiny
Tzautli Orchid,
a rare exotic flower that is indigenous to a particular,
rather remote region of South
America," explained the little chemistry professor
Werner Van Poog. "I've added a
few chemicals to enhance its overall composition . It is
now not only an extremely
powerful epoxy resin or super-super glue if you will, but
a type of hyper-strong
attractant!" he said pressing his latex gloved hands
together as if he were gingerly
kneading and shaping some gobbet of sculptor's clay.
The smattering
of students in the auditorium looked down at professor Van Poog
as if he might be trying to explain to them the meaning
of life itself. So intent were
they with their laptops and micro-tape recorders that he
feared they might be missing
the gist of his lecture. “I promise you all…there won’t
be a test on any of this,” he sighed.
At this they
all seemed to relax as if some hypnotist had snapped his fingers. They
settled back in their chairs. A pretty girl in a blue
tartan sweater sheepishly raised her
hand, "Do you think it might hold some kind of
magnetic properties?" She reddened
somewhat having not waited for him to acknowledge her
hand.
"That's
an excellent question young lady," he called back to the entire class
having
picked up on her awkward embarrassment. "Magnetic
Properties!" Van Poog began to
pace back and forth for some time behind the long
laboratory table. "The substance that
I have concocted here," he announced as he raised a
large Petri dish with a gelatinous
emerald colored mass inside that was about the size of a
golf ball, "is a mystery even
yet to me! Quite frankly, I'm not completely certain just
what I have here."
A series of three
soft, but distinctive chimes broke the silence and the enchanted
group of students snapped back into reality. They
scurried to their feet swiping up
an assortment of lap tops, Ipads, recorders, and other
scholarly paraphernalia as they
prepared to leave the classroom. At the foot of the
auditorium Miss tartan sweater had
stopped to confront Van Poog:
"What
will you name it?" she asked as she stared down at the glass cylinder.
"I mean, what the heck do you call this stuff?"
The buxom
redhead had his undivided attention in spite of having added this last
word which made him cringe.
"Well,
young lady," he felt awkward and rather unfortunate that he had to address
her in this stilted manner. "I guess I haven't given
that much thought. Any suggestions?"
"How
about Glubber?" she said covering up a grin with the back of her hand.
"It
could be the sequel to--"
"Flubber—I get it!" he said, now feeling somewhat
embarrassed.
"What's the matter professor… no
sense of humor?" she slapped at the arm of his
white lab coat.
Van Poog
studied her waxing moon-like blue eyes and wondered if she in fact was in
possession of all her faculties.
"I've
enjoyed our little chat miss...but I'm afraid I have a staff meeting across
campus
and I really must be going," he sighed.
"My name
is Stevens--Mary Beth Stevens," she chimed in, "I'll be
sitting up front
from now on professor. "Will that bother you
any?" she asked coyly.
"I
shouldn't think so Miss Stevens," he tugged at his collar with a solitary
finger.
"Mary
Beth, okay?"
"Fine,
fine--Mary Beth. Don't forget your ass... assignment for our next
class."
"Don't
you worry professor, I'll come up with a name for it," she declared as she
rotated her curvaceous body around and flicked some
farewell fingers over her shoulder.
Van Poog stood
there for a moment, his arms hanging useless down at his sides as
he watched her sashay up the polished concrete steps and
ease out the auditorium double
doors far above.
He shook his head slightly in amazement. “Now what brought that on?”
he murmured to himself. Then he looked over at the little
dish of green goo on the long
chromium lab table. What the hell have I got here? he
puzzled as he picked up the glass
cylinder and disappeared through the door that lead to
his back chambers and laboratory
facility.
The very next day
Professor Van Poog was in no way prepared
for the scene and circumstance that
faced him in the classroom that morning. There seated right up front in the very first
row, as promised, was the smiling, effervescent Mary Beth Stevens. The auditorium
was standing room only…almost all women!
“Uh…good morning ladi… class,” he stumbled a bit as he affixed his wireless
microphone to the lapel of his white laboratory smock, then dipped into his pocket and
withdrew the mysterious glass of green goo. “I’ll begin this morning by— ”
faced him in the classroom that morning. There seated right up front in the very first
row, as promised, was the smiling, effervescent Mary Beth Stevens. The auditorium
was standing room only…almost all women!
“Uh…good morning ladi… class,” he stumbled a bit as he affixed his wireless
microphone to the lapel of his white laboratory smock, then dipped into his pocket and
withdrew the mysterious glass of green goo. “I’ll begin this morning by— ”
“There he is girls…and he’s got the
googalglue!” Mary Beth shouted as she exploded
out of her seat.
“Wow! I can
feel it from way up here!” from the rear of the auditorium.
“I can’t believe it! I gotta’ have some of that!”
“Let’s get him gals!” Mary Beth
screamed with a John Wayne-like charge hand gesture.
And, at that, they stormed the stage and
surrounded the little chemistry professor. They
had in fact gone completely
mad…mad with desire. He backed off up against the spreading
blackboard. He was wiping out
some of the chalk equations and formulas with his back as he
tried desperately to escape
their assault. He held high the goo as he turned and cowered
against the board.
And then they were on him. On him like…glue!
_____ The
End _____