Google Glue

Doug Donnan

Executive Editor/OMNI-GENRE+MAGAZINE!

donnan.doug @yahoo.com                                                                              

                      

           

                                     







"GOOGLEGLUE"

                                                           

    by

   DOUG DONNAN

   

      "Actually the base is an ancient Aztec recipe made from the tiny Tzautli Orchid,

a rare exotic flower that is indigenous to a particular, rather remote region of South

America," explained the little chemistry professor Werner Van Poog. "I've added a

few chemicals to enhance its overall composition . It is now not only an extremely

powerful epoxy resin or super-super glue if you will, but a type of hyper-strong

attractant!" he said pressing his latex gloved hands together as if he were gingerly

kneading and shaping some gobbet of sculptor's clay.

     The smattering of students in the auditorium looked down at professor Van Poog

as if he might be trying to explain to them the meaning of life itself. So intent were

they with their laptops and micro-tape recorders that he feared they might be missing

the gist of his lecture. “I promise you all…there won’t be a test on any of this,” he sighed.

     

     At this they all seemed to relax as if some hypnotist had snapped his fingers. They

settled back in their chairs. A pretty girl in a blue tartan sweater sheepishly raised her

hand, "Do you think it might hold some kind of magnetic properties?" She reddened

somewhat having not waited for him to acknowledge her hand.

     "That's an excellent question young lady," he called back to the entire class having

picked up on her awkward embarrassment. "Magnetic Properties!" Van Poog began to

pace back and forth for some time behind the long laboratory table. "The substance that

I have concocted here," he announced as he raised a large Petri dish with a gelatinous

emerald colored mass inside that was about the size of a golf ball, "is a mystery even

yet to me! Quite frankly, I'm not completely certain just what I have here."

     A series of three soft, but distinctive chimes broke the silence and the enchanted

group of students snapped back into reality. They scurried to their feet swiping up

an assortment of lap tops, Ipads, recorders, and other scholarly paraphernalia as they

prepared to leave the classroom. At the foot of the auditorium Miss tartan sweater had

stopped to confront Van Poog:

     "What will you name it?" she asked as she stared down at the glass cylinder.

"I mean, what the heck do you call this stuff?"

     The buxom redhead had his undivided attention in spite of having added this last

word which made him cringe.

     "Well, young lady," he felt awkward and rather unfortunate that he had to address

her in this stilted manner. "I guess I haven't given that much thought. Any suggestions?"

     "How about Glubber?" she said covering up a grin with the back of her hand. "It

could be the sequel to--"

    

     "Flubber—I get it!" he said, now feeling somewhat embarrassed.           

     "What's the matter professor… no sense of humor?" she slapped at the arm of his

white lab coat.

     Van Poog studied her waxing moon-like blue eyes and wondered if she in fact was in

possession of all her faculties.

     "I've enjoyed our little chat miss...but I'm afraid I have a staff meeting across campus

and I really must be going," he sighed.

     "My name is Stevens--Mary Beth Stevens," she chimed in, "I'll be sitting up front

from now on professor. "Will that bother you any?" she asked coyly.

     "I shouldn't think so Miss Stevens," he tugged at his collar with a solitary finger.

     "Mary Beth, okay?"

     "Fine, fine--Mary Beth. Don't forget your ass... assignment for our next class."

     "Don't you worry professor, I'll come up with a name for it," she declared as she

rotated her curvaceous body around and flicked some farewell fingers over her shoulder.

     Van Poog stood there for a moment, his arms hanging useless down at his sides as

he watched her sashay up the polished concrete steps and ease out the auditorium double

 doors far above. He shook his head slightly in amazement. “Now what brought that on?”

he murmured to himself. Then he looked over at the little dish of green goo on the long

chromium lab table. What the hell have I got here? he puzzled as he picked up the glass

cylinder and disappeared through the door that lead to his back chambers and laboratory

facility.

                                                 

                                         The very next day

     Professor Van Poog was in no way prepared for the scene and circumstance that
faced him in the classroom that morning. There seated right up front in the very first
row, as promised, was the smiling, effervescent Mary Beth Stevens. The auditorium
was standing room only…almost all women!
      “Uh…good morning ladi… class,” he stumbled a bit as he affixed his wireless
microphone to the lapel of his white laboratory smock, then dipped into his pocket and
withdrew the mysterious glass of green goo. “I’ll begin this morning by— ”

     “There he is girls…and he’s got the googalglue!” Mary Beth shouted as she exploded

out of her seat.

     “Wow! I can feel it from way up here!” from the rear of the auditorium.

     “I can’t believe it! I gotta’ have some of that!”

     “Let’s get him gals!” Mary Beth screamed with a John Wayne-like charge hand gesture.

     And, at that, they stormed the stage and surrounded the little chemistry professor. They

had in fact gone completely mad…mad with desire. He backed off up against the spreading

blackboard. He was wiping out some of the chalk equations and formulas with his back as he

tried desperately to escape their assault. He held high the goo as he turned and cowered

against the board.

     And then they were on him. On him like…glue!

                                                          _____ The End _____