Up for Grabs by Doug Donnan

                                                          

 "Up For Grabs"

                                                                             

         by

 Doug Donnan

                                                                    

     "I'll tan yer hide little mister if you don't start makin' some sense around this house. Here lately

it's been just one cock n' bull story after another out of you. What in tarnashun' was it this time? A three-eyed

grizzly bear or some pole breakin', whiskerless catfish?" Mrs. Kurlander asked with here fat fists pressed

against the protruding sides of her red and white checked kitchen apron.

     "I'm tellin' ya ma this time I 'really' seen sumthin'! It swooped down outa' the sky and snatched our little

Sally-Sue right up and flew off with her somewheres out into them trees way off down there in back. It was as

big as one of them double-winged crop duster planes that Mr. Fowler flies all around over his spreadin' acres

of snap beans n' corn," Kefler declared with his hand raised high as if he might be swearing in for jury duty or

signing up to vote in some election. "It looked to been one of them Pterribledactyls I read about in a library

dinosaur picture book."

     Mrs. Kurlander's eyes popped open at this tall tale for it involved her beloved little baby girl Sally-Sue.

She released the wooden bread box that she was "crumbin' out" and let it drop with a splintering crack right

there on the kitchen's lye-soap scrubbed wood-tile floor. Then she grabbed Keffler by the britches and hauled

his squealing dungaree belt and bottom right out the back door. After looking all up and down every which way,

and calling little Sally's name at the top of her lungs (which must have been rather substantial if breast size is any

indicator) she dropped down on one knee and evil eye-balled directly in at the trembling, slightly whimpering Kefler.

     "Show me exactly what happened out here young man. Where's your sister at? The truth this time or you'll

be wishin' the devil himself had come up here to whup you and not your own 'whiskey drinkin' father once I tell him

about all of this nonsense."

     "She's... g, gone mama," Kefler sniffled and stammered. "I'm tryin' to tell ya that...that giant bird just done

grabbed her n' lit out... off, up n' up into them--

     "Haaalp! Mama...Haaalp me git down outa' here!" a voice shrieked out from way up in one of the spreading pine

trees off in the distance. "Haaaalp!"

     Mrs. Kurlander looked off across the backyard with a kind of sausage-finger salute to shield her eyes from the still

blasting, belligerent setting circle of sun. The afternoon wind was passing along pretty good as the furry green branches

of the Sally-Sue adorned tree swayed all around and about well beyond what might be considered by some folks as 'playfully'.

     "My Baby Girl! Oh my God! My precious little Sally-Sue. She's up in that big ol' pine tree over yonder." She slapped the

bawling Kefler right upside the back of his bushy brown, sugar-bowl haircut head. "I don't know how in blue blazes you

got her up there young man, but you had best put a move on n' git your little butt over there n' gi--

     "Aiyeeeeeee!" Kefler screamed out wildly, and then bolted away for parts unknown. As he high-tailed it off, he yelled

over his shoulder with wild eyes looking up, high up, into the sky... "Watch out mama! WATCH OUT!"

     "Kefler! Git back here" she called after him. "Go n' git yer sister Sally-Sue down outa' that damn...

     A massive spreading shadow darkened the sky just above her head. A low cloud? She mused. There was also a very odd,

intermittent, pushing downdraft as well. She didn't look up right away. She simply tried to slowly side-step somewhat to see if

she could find the sun's fading fusion once again.

     That didn't work.

     She decided to try and start trotting off in the scurried path swept away in the ankle-top grass by the terribly frightened

Kefler.

     That didn't work either.

     She stopped, dead in her tracks. Her house apron now a billowing sail luffing and snapping all around her portly person

there in the very middle of the meadow. There were now no other options available to her. She began to, slowly, tilt her head

back to literally face-up to her fears.

     Just then, simultaneously, a feathered set of massive claws grabbed her by either shoulder. The hooked, harpoon-like

talons sunk into the meat of the woman like vice-grips. She tried to run now, run for her very life. But it was no use, no use

at all. It was too late.

     "Kefler?" she tried as her feet began to wiggle, now dangle a bit off the ground.

     "Sally-Sue? Sugar-pie...baby doll?"

     Up and up she went. Her rolling, flabby arms were now splayed out 'spread eagle' by the great bird as if the lofty woman

might somehow be magically affixed and suspended onto some type of soaring, invisible cross. She called out, but not in any

kind of desperation or frantic hopelessness. It was a sound that can best be described as uplifting ecstasy or some dream-like

ascending glee...

     "I'm comin' Sally-Sue! I'm commmmin' right on up fer ya my lil' honey angel! Praise the Looooord!"

                      

                                                                                 _____ The End _____